To Whom It May Concern:
I am writing this open letter in support of the Collaborative Law process. It truly is an honorable and dignified method, dedicated to preserving the future well being of the family and self esteem of the participants.
My marriage of 30 years had actually been over for more than a decade. Love and emotional support had been withdrawn and job dedication and attention to children took their place. As time went on, miscommunication, indifference, and emotional events became the norm. At times, both job and children suffered.
Finally, three years ago, the joint decision was made to divorce. It was thought that one could use a quick Internet kit with the attached attorney or the do-it-yourself package available from the courthouse with a representative to shepherd the paperwork. But the long-term habits of previous behavior proved too much and resolution was not obtainable. It seemed the the only proceeding possible was through the courts, furthering mistrust and long-term disharmony.
Last spring, a dear friend, through the suggestion of a local judge, spoke to me about the Collaborative Law process. He provided me the name of a lawyer who was trained in the Collaborative Law. At the first meeting with the lawyer, I knew this was exactly the process and procedure needed to facilitate an ending and a beginning.
We selected our lawyers, agreed in principal to the resolution method and signed the Collaborative Law Participation Agreement. It was understood that each lawyer was independent from the other and represented only one party. We then began in earnest, throught the guidance of our lawyers; choosing dates to meet, assigning tasks to gather information and beginning to make suggestions toward solving long standing problems.
In a series of meetings held individually with our lawyers, then as a group of four and finally the two lawyers together, an agreement was reached. This agreement was formally prepared, presented to and signed by the Judge, with no court intervention.
During this process, there was full, open and honest disclosure. There was at all times, privacy, respect, and dignity. It did require vigorous good faith negotiations and our lawyers guided us to assume reasoned positions in all matters.
Now that the event is finished and holidays are upon us, I am grateful that we selected this method. Truly, we found a better way to resolve our differences justly and equitably.
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